Hello my long lost friends! It seems like its been an eternity since I sat down to write. But trust me, there has been so much going on, and I have wanted to write so badly lately, but my bed was just sooooo comfortable, and I was just soooooo darn tired! :) Please forgive me!
Aaaahheeemm: Let's see....where shall we start?
First of all I need to get some stuff off my mind. I keep saying to myself as these things keep creeping back in "I need to blog about that" and when I finally sit down to blog, I think..." but lord, that will be a novel!" So, I have decided to make a list! (Thanks Heather, grocerystorelife.blogspot.com)
1. I am constantly afraid that I am not going to remember something. Like a word of note, or a song lyric, or something profound and of importance. I keep saying...write that down, Amy. But I never do! (Any suggestions?) Do you guys worry about that too? And if you do, what do you do about it?
2. I became an overnight plumber! It was a hillarious story that I will have to diverge more detail in later, but let's just say this: took my sink apart, couldn't put it back together, found out what a "pipe snake" was, used said "pipe snake", sewage all over me and the ground, and the sink, and the floor. Yep. Just imagine it. Nuff said!
3. Love, Love Love my job! Did I mention that I love my job? Love it! I have become so involved with the community here! I have already been elected as a chairperson on the Council for the Aging as the fundraising coordinator! Fun stuff! And I have met some key people here who have just catapulted me in the right direction! And my boss rocks!
4. I have deemed this year (once again) the year that I am going to be my healthiest and thinnest and hottest! In that order. Heath first, thinner next, and hot if I'm lucky! So to execute such plan, my sister and friend Kahyla are beginning working out at a place called Wonder Women! The name is enough motivation in itself! Go me! So there, its out to the public now, so I can't back down!
5. I still miss home, but I am beginning to like it here more and more. The single life is fun again, finally. I am just itching to see what is around the next bend! So much to discover!
6. I am going to make a list of 10 things I can do this year to cross off my to-do fun-stuff list. I know a couple right now: go on a hot air balloon ride, ride a horse, do one of those fake bull-ride thingamajigeys, and go to an awesome concert.
7. I saw an awesome speaker tonight at Tanner Health Systems. Her name was Christine Clifford, and she is a cancer survivor. Ironically, this past monday, I went to visit my mother's grave. She passed of cancer when I was 14 years old. I guess it had been like 10 years or more since I had been to her grave. The best part of the whole trip was meeting a little old man there. His wife had died about 2 years ago, and her grave was covered in a plethora of roses! He brought her one everyday or a bouquet once a week. They had been married for 60 years, and he still cried when he talked about her death. I hope to find a love like that one day.
8. I have seen more possums here than I have underwear! Oh, and I hit one and a raccoon one night on the same street. Within 10 minutes of each other.
9. I am going to start doing a new recipe of the week. Preferably low calorie and low fat! So, if you have any awesome recipes to share...send em my way. I'll post pics and variations, and my true opinion of the dish. Hmmmm...let's call it...the dish on the dish. Sound good?
10. I love all of you readers out there!
So, there you have it folks. My life in 10 short bullet points. (Oh! speaking of bullets, Ryan and Kahyla are taking me to the shooting range to shoot my first gun. Eeeek. I'm sooo excited about that!)
The best is yet to come!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sifting
So I don't know where to start, or what direction to take in this post tonight. I just know that I need to write and sift through some emotions and thoughts.
First off, let me just say that there have been some changes in my current living situation. I am now living with my friend Kahyla in Georgia. Sigh...I am a traveling gypsy, and I swear I will never get settled. I am bummed that I couldn't live with my sister, but Pete (the dog) was not a good situation there, and I just can't bear to get rid of him. He is one of the only things that remind me of home, and I just can't do it! Yeah, and that's a topic that's been on my mind a lot lately. Home. I do miss my cozy little house, and living alone at times. But like tonight, I came "home" and cooked for Kahyla and Ryan. It felt good to have someone to cook for again, and it made me happy! (And it was delicious, might I add!) But there's just something about walking back into my house that puts me at ease everytime I go. I know its because I am "comfortable" there, and definitely because I know my way around MUCH better there. I guess I am just still trying to adapt and adjust to living here in Georgia. Not to mention that my focus this whole week has been a lot of new stuff. New job. New place. Another new place. Half my stuff in Alabama. Half my stuff in Georgia. Etc, etc. So I guess feeling unsettled is normal and natural at this point, and the more I am here, the better it will get. The funny part of all of this is that I have dreamed of a new place to live. I always thought that I would embrace the strangeness of all of it, and see it as opportunity; as I do. However, fear keeps trying to creep back in. The "what ifs" are trying to take over, and my head gets in the way of looking at the positive. Maybe I am just thinking too much.
And that's another thing. This thinking all the time. If there is one major thing that I don't like about myself, its definitely over-thinking everything. I over think and over-analyze everything, and it drives me crazy at times. I wish I could be more of a "simple-minded" person, but I never have been. It is both a curse and a blessing, I guess. So, what do I do when I start over-thinking? I write. And I probably write more than anyone wants to read, but it helps to get it out of my head. It helps me to focus. That's all I really want to do. Just focus on one thing at a time. But where to start, and what is the plan? And how shall I exucute said plan? And when? And with whom? Blah, blah blah. Psshbbbptt!
Lets see..what else? Oh! Goals! Yes, those sneaky little pesky goals of mine that I have stuck in the back of my mind. Waiting. On what? I have no clue. I set so many of them all at the same time, that I become overwhelmed and want to accomplish all of them instantly. And let's face it, goals are meant to be worked towards. Not provide instant gratification. That's it. Instant gratification. That's what I want, and when I can't get it, I become out of control. Anyone who knows me well, and I'm speaking to myself here, knows that I don't like to be out of control. I like to know who I am and where I am headed. And quite frankly, those are two subjects I know little about right now. I know that I am on a path to self discovery, and I know I am headed to good places. But when and how will I know that I have "reached" my destination or discovered who I really am? Isn't people and your influences that shape you to be who you are anyway? And if that is a fact, then who are we all really? Replicas of whom?
For my readers out there, I apologize for the overly long blog post this time...but I had to get some of this out. I am always afraid of forgetting stuff, and I knew if I kept letting my thoughts build...I would forget some of the things I was wanting to write. The sad part is, there is so much more, but I am not writing a novel here. So, I will just end it now. More to come. Hopefully with much more inspiration and insight.
P.S. A lady bug just flew down and landed on my laptop...sweet.
First off, let me just say that there have been some changes in my current living situation. I am now living with my friend Kahyla in Georgia. Sigh...I am a traveling gypsy, and I swear I will never get settled. I am bummed that I couldn't live with my sister, but Pete (the dog) was not a good situation there, and I just can't bear to get rid of him. He is one of the only things that remind me of home, and I just can't do it! Yeah, and that's a topic that's been on my mind a lot lately. Home. I do miss my cozy little house, and living alone at times. But like tonight, I came "home" and cooked for Kahyla and Ryan. It felt good to have someone to cook for again, and it made me happy! (And it was delicious, might I add!) But there's just something about walking back into my house that puts me at ease everytime I go. I know its because I am "comfortable" there, and definitely because I know my way around MUCH better there. I guess I am just still trying to adapt and adjust to living here in Georgia. Not to mention that my focus this whole week has been a lot of new stuff. New job. New place. Another new place. Half my stuff in Alabama. Half my stuff in Georgia. Etc, etc. So I guess feeling unsettled is normal and natural at this point, and the more I am here, the better it will get. The funny part of all of this is that I have dreamed of a new place to live. I always thought that I would embrace the strangeness of all of it, and see it as opportunity; as I do. However, fear keeps trying to creep back in. The "what ifs" are trying to take over, and my head gets in the way of looking at the positive. Maybe I am just thinking too much.
And that's another thing. This thinking all the time. If there is one major thing that I don't like about myself, its definitely over-thinking everything. I over think and over-analyze everything, and it drives me crazy at times. I wish I could be more of a "simple-minded" person, but I never have been. It is both a curse and a blessing, I guess. So, what do I do when I start over-thinking? I write. And I probably write more than anyone wants to read, but it helps to get it out of my head. It helps me to focus. That's all I really want to do. Just focus on one thing at a time. But where to start, and what is the plan? And how shall I exucute said plan? And when? And with whom? Blah, blah blah. Psshbbbptt!
Lets see..what else? Oh! Goals! Yes, those sneaky little pesky goals of mine that I have stuck in the back of my mind. Waiting. On what? I have no clue. I set so many of them all at the same time, that I become overwhelmed and want to accomplish all of them instantly. And let's face it, goals are meant to be worked towards. Not provide instant gratification. That's it. Instant gratification. That's what I want, and when I can't get it, I become out of control. Anyone who knows me well, and I'm speaking to myself here, knows that I don't like to be out of control. I like to know who I am and where I am headed. And quite frankly, those are two subjects I know little about right now. I know that I am on a path to self discovery, and I know I am headed to good places. But when and how will I know that I have "reached" my destination or discovered who I really am? Isn't people and your influences that shape you to be who you are anyway? And if that is a fact, then who are we all really? Replicas of whom?
For my readers out there, I apologize for the overly long blog post this time...but I had to get some of this out. I am always afraid of forgetting stuff, and I knew if I kept letting my thoughts build...I would forget some of the things I was wanting to write. The sad part is, there is so much more, but I am not writing a novel here. So, I will just end it now. More to come. Hopefully with much more inspiration and insight.
P.S. A lady bug just flew down and landed on my laptop...sweet.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Girl, Interrupted
Since my last post, I have been through a whirlwind of emotions! If you read the last post, I think you will see that I was rather torn about the move and the bittersweetness of it all. Then Monday came. Wow. Monday left me feeling even more frustrated and lost, than ever! I felt a bit "fuzzy headed" that morning when I woke up. Possibly nerves. Possibly lack of sleep. What ever it was, I just couldn't seem to form a logical sentence all day long. It felt as though I had so much going on in my head that at any point in time, my head would explode. Yeah. Not good. I went on into work, which I thought would take about 30 minutes to get to. Um, obviously, that didn't happen. Almost an HOUR later I get to where I am supposed to be, and not because I got lost, believe it or not. Because it was that far. However, thankfully, I will not have to go to the office but about once a week, and the majority of my appointments will be set from home. I really am excited about working from home. In addition to all of that the county that I will be working is rather large, but is only about a 20 minute drive from where I am staying. By the way, I am staying in the small town of Temple GA, about 25 minutes from Douglasville, and 40 minutes from Atlanta! I love being so close to the city, but still having the feel of a small town.
Anyway, my frustration yesterday, stemmed from several different things. However, none of them are important now, and I have been able to sift through all of the emotion. I did get my Garmin up and working, and I think that will be one of the most helpful tools I have in "finding" my way around.
Today is a great day! I had a rather productive and much needed B2B meeting this morning at a quaint little restaurant called the Olivetree. It helped my feeling so much to be able to interact with people, and focus on my job at hand. I made several great contacts that I will be able to build upon as time goes on. Everyone is so welcoming here, especially towards the girl from Alabama!
I am so excited about the countless opportunities that this place holds for me. Oh! And I haven't even mentioned the shopping! I am going to have to stick to my very strict budget there, but my lord...there's a million different things here to do. I almost feel overwhelmed because I want to go discover them all at once! Like a great friend said yesterday, "Amy, you didn't even wiggle your toe in the water first...you jumped in with both feet first." Yep, that's me. Jump first...ask questions later. And I like it!
Here's to the journey and self discovery!
Anyway, my frustration yesterday, stemmed from several different things. However, none of them are important now, and I have been able to sift through all of the emotion. I did get my Garmin up and working, and I think that will be one of the most helpful tools I have in "finding" my way around.
Today is a great day! I had a rather productive and much needed B2B meeting this morning at a quaint little restaurant called the Olivetree. It helped my feeling so much to be able to interact with people, and focus on my job at hand. I made several great contacts that I will be able to build upon as time goes on. Everyone is so welcoming here, especially towards the girl from Alabama!
I am so excited about the countless opportunities that this place holds for me. Oh! And I haven't even mentioned the shopping! I am going to have to stick to my very strict budget there, but my lord...there's a million different things here to do. I almost feel overwhelmed because I want to go discover them all at once! Like a great friend said yesterday, "Amy, you didn't even wiggle your toe in the water first...you jumped in with both feet first." Yep, that's me. Jump first...ask questions later. And I like it!
Here's to the journey and self discovery!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Where is Home?
So, tonight I moved my stuff to Georgia. BIG sigh here! I am excited, however, everything is bittersweet! As I was packing up my clothes and things, I came across so many memories, and I couldn't help but cry. I have been wanting to move out of the little town of Weaver Alabama for quite sometime now, but now that it is here...there are so many things buzzing in my head.
I had a talk with my Mamma this afternoon. I realized that she and my dad weren't going to be an easy 10 minutes away any longer. I was so ashamed that I hadn't visited them more being so close. I guess you just take for granted the time you have. I will miss being able to jump in my car and head over there when I felt the urge...now it will be a planned trip. Another big sigh.
I guess I am just spinning because everything has happened so fast! On Friday, I had an interview, and I start the job on Monday. I haven't really had any time to process my feelings about this...but as I told a good friend...I am a big girl. I am pulling myself up by my bootstrings and marching on. Its all I know to do at this point.
On a happier note...I did get to my very generous sister's house and finally got settled in. She has gone way out of her way to make me comfortable here, and I am so grateful for that. Pete seems to have adjusted well too. (for those of you who don't know...pete is my 12 year old mini-daushaund).
I know all of this is going to be a big adjustment. Starting a new job, living in a new place with people again, being in a new and unfamiliar city. But its fresh...it's new. It's what I wanted. It's time to make some new kick ass memories and make the best of what is to come. Again, here's to the journey, and seeing what is around the next bend!
I had a talk with my Mamma this afternoon. I realized that she and my dad weren't going to be an easy 10 minutes away any longer. I was so ashamed that I hadn't visited them more being so close. I guess you just take for granted the time you have. I will miss being able to jump in my car and head over there when I felt the urge...now it will be a planned trip. Another big sigh.
I guess I am just spinning because everything has happened so fast! On Friday, I had an interview, and I start the job on Monday. I haven't really had any time to process my feelings about this...but as I told a good friend...I am a big girl. I am pulling myself up by my bootstrings and marching on. Its all I know to do at this point.
On a happier note...I did get to my very generous sister's house and finally got settled in. She has gone way out of her way to make me comfortable here, and I am so grateful for that. Pete seems to have adjusted well too. (for those of you who don't know...pete is my 12 year old mini-daushaund).
I know all of this is going to be a big adjustment. Starting a new job, living in a new place with people again, being in a new and unfamiliar city. But its fresh...it's new. It's what I wanted. It's time to make some new kick ass memories and make the best of what is to come. Again, here's to the journey, and seeing what is around the next bend!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Chance Times Two
How lucky can one girl get? I mean, if I get any luckier, I might need to join a professional gambling team and just make my living that way! (I think I just made up "professional gambling team") All kidding aside, I am the luckiest gal ever! Not too long ago (August 13th, 2009) I got a second chance at life. At the literal sense of the word "life". I had heart surgery (see post below) and literally was dead on a table for a while. I know. I researched, I cried, I talked to friends, I panicked, I planned my death. I cried some more....until I woke up 3 weeks after recovery. It was a normal Friday. I had been anticipating feeling better for quite some time now...like immediate energy after heart surgery or something. Psh. But, nonetheless, my energy came to me on this glorious Friday. I woke up and smiled. I felt good. I realized (through the haze of pain meds) that I actually had a second chance at this life I had been living. And that's where it all changed. A good friend of mine had turned me on to the song "unwritten" by Natasha Beddingfield, and I listened and DANCED to it over and over and over and over. Until my husband pleaded for me to not listen to it any longer. The song seemed to incapsulate where I was at that given point. New. Unwritten. Pen in my hand. WOW! I now had the chance to write the rest of my life's story without fear, without "what ifs". And so really, that's where the second lucky part comes into play...
So, through a whirlwind of months...as stated before...recovering and a divorce...and re-discovering myself again. Finding myself. Trusting myself. Believing in myself. Again. I have searched out and landed a NEW fresh start of my life. One that I am most excited about. I am going to move out of Alabama, and to a whole 'nother state! Not far away, granted, but a new place. Fresh. Insert big white blank label here. And the best and craziest part of it all is that everything worked itself out. I didn't dig for it. It came to me. I made one call that led to many others, and finally not one...but 2 jobs in Georgia. Doing the same thing that I did in Alabama, but on a much bigger scale, and for a lot more pay! yay! I can't help but smile right now. And dang it, I deserve that!
It may sound like I have it all figured out...and trust me, I don't. However, I am excited about the new discoveries I am about to make. New people. New ownership of a home. I antcipate much needed growth personally, and am looking forward to it. I am in the best years of my life, and I refuse to live simply and comfortably anymore. Sure, things will be a little hairy until I secure a place to live, (I'll be traveling until my home sells in Alabama) and I'm sure I'll get stressed...but as a friend and I have cheered to recently....Here's to the journey!
So, through a whirlwind of months...as stated before...recovering and a divorce...and re-discovering myself again. Finding myself. Trusting myself. Believing in myself. Again. I have searched out and landed a NEW fresh start of my life. One that I am most excited about. I am going to move out of Alabama, and to a whole 'nother state! Not far away, granted, but a new place. Fresh. Insert big white blank label here. And the best and craziest part of it all is that everything worked itself out. I didn't dig for it. It came to me. I made one call that led to many others, and finally not one...but 2 jobs in Georgia. Doing the same thing that I did in Alabama, but on a much bigger scale, and for a lot more pay! yay! I can't help but smile right now. And dang it, I deserve that!
It may sound like I have it all figured out...and trust me, I don't. However, I am excited about the new discoveries I am about to make. New people. New ownership of a home. I antcipate much needed growth personally, and am looking forward to it. I am in the best years of my life, and I refuse to live simply and comfortably anymore. Sure, things will be a little hairy until I secure a place to live, (I'll be traveling until my home sells in Alabama) and I'm sure I'll get stressed...but as a friend and I have cheered to recently....Here's to the journey!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
New Year, New YOU!
Okay, so officially it has been 6 months since I have written one single word. I am ashamed. However, like a lot of you, I have been journaling! So there. That counts, right?
Anywho, I am feeling back to writing publicly again. Lots has changed within the last 6 months. I have experienced some exuberant times, heartache, and I think I reached my lowest point I have ever reached in my life. In short, and there is more to come later, I have been on life's great rollercoaster. But now, it's a new year and a new, fresh start. I'm excited! I am finally getting to close some major chapters in my life. I refuse to reopen some parts of my past "book" and am looking forward to seeing what 2010 brings.
So, what in the world has happened in the last 6 months?
1. I had open heart surgery! (Yeah, the crack your chest open kind)
2. I got a divorce. (Not a bad thing, and he is still a friend...I will not bash him or his family, so don't ask!)
3. Do we really need a numero 3?
Yeah, that's enough to talk about there. But for now, I am going to focus on the positive. That's all I know to do. One thing is for sure: my family and my friends have been the best family and friends I could ask for. I wouldn't know what to do without my mama. Lord, she is my rock! (Thank you mama!)
I'll update with the story of the heart surgery my next post, and will diverge some really hillarious stories there. I also have pictures that I might post as well, so for those that are faint of heart or just don't want to see blood, you might want to skip that blog.
So, being the new year and all, I have decided to not set any resolutions. I know my resolve is strong, and therefore I am committing myself to the following:
1. Live life! (it's too short, and trust me I know!)
2. Love often and without hesitation.
3. Cook organically.
4. Learn to play the guitar.
5. Travel more.
6. Get Healthy
7. Take ballroom/salsa/bellydancing lessons.
8. Stay focused.
9. Join a softball team
10. Rinse, Wash, Repeat.
Here's to a great 2010!
Anywho, I am feeling back to writing publicly again. Lots has changed within the last 6 months. I have experienced some exuberant times, heartache, and I think I reached my lowest point I have ever reached in my life. In short, and there is more to come later, I have been on life's great rollercoaster. But now, it's a new year and a new, fresh start. I'm excited! I am finally getting to close some major chapters in my life. I refuse to reopen some parts of my past "book" and am looking forward to seeing what 2010 brings.
So, what in the world has happened in the last 6 months?
1. I had open heart surgery! (Yeah, the crack your chest open kind)
2. I got a divorce. (Not a bad thing, and he is still a friend...I will not bash him or his family, so don't ask!)
3. Do we really need a numero 3?
Yeah, that's enough to talk about there. But for now, I am going to focus on the positive. That's all I know to do. One thing is for sure: my family and my friends have been the best family and friends I could ask for. I wouldn't know what to do without my mama. Lord, she is my rock! (Thank you mama!)
I'll update with the story of the heart surgery my next post, and will diverge some really hillarious stories there. I also have pictures that I might post as well, so for those that are faint of heart or just don't want to see blood, you might want to skip that blog.
So, being the new year and all, I have decided to not set any resolutions. I know my resolve is strong, and therefore I am committing myself to the following:
1. Live life! (it's too short, and trust me I know!)
2. Love often and without hesitation.
3. Cook organically.
4. Learn to play the guitar.
5. Travel more.
6. Get Healthy
7. Take ballroom/salsa/bellydancing lessons.
8. Stay focused.
9. Join a softball team
10. Rinse, Wash, Repeat.
Here's to a great 2010!
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